You ever taken a moment and sat back and realized that a complete and utter disaster could have been avoided, along with the headaches and 99 miles of bad road? We are human though, yes? That means problems are going to arise, and as humans we are prone to impulsive behavior. Adopting a policy of always critically thinking situations through can go far in mitigating potential damages, and helping one keep their sanity.

Let me say this, while making mistakes is a natural part of life – repeating them foolishly is not.

Therefore, the first goal is to ask ourselves why we keep doing the things that are liable to harm us in the end. What needs do they satisfy? And what are the origins of these unsatisfied needs? Was there a trauma from childhood that seems to creep up consistently in how we act & react towards others? Some problems can be easily remedied, while others can only ever be modified around. Once we answer these questions, we will be able to recognize our weaknesses and avoid situations that cause us to exhibit them.

The next goal in breaking the cycle is to remove your emotions from your decision making process. Extreme anger, lust, greed etc. are ingredients that are not healthy in crafting positive outcomes, and often taint whatever would have been gained had those emotions not been present. Deciding to jump off a ledge just because someone made you angry, or hurt your feelings does not accomplish the mission. If you feel your emotions beginning to get the best of you, take a moment and just inhale. Analyze the various players on the field, and where potential traps might be – no sense in sending your own army to it’s doom.

The last goal is to ask how important are you to yourself? Do you feel as though you as a person are a temple worthy of being uplifted? Temples were meant to be a sacred place, not desecrated and desecration is what mistakes and their repercussions cause. If you truly feel as though your temple is worth defending and protecting, breaking the cycles of mistakes will become much easier to accomplish.  With love, one can cease the cycle of repetitive suffering and claim from the mountain top that they have learned once and for all from their mistakes.

Rome was built on the last day.

The above line is a common project management adage, and means that often times things get accomplished at in the 11th, 12th and sometimes 13th hour. Even with the best intentions at planning, the best laid plan can go awry. It is human nature to prioritize things on the basis of the pleasure principle – personal gratification and ease of use, or the pain principle, which is avoiding discomfort at all costs.

The goal is to eliminate the second, as nothing worth having is going to come easy!

There are going to be things that happen – dog gets sick, kids have after school activities, boss needs that report filed stat and the list goes on. There comes a moment where you must decide in yourself what it is you want to get accomplished, and stick to it! If you have a great idea for a business or want to write a book, there is no magical wand waving in the world that will create this greatness for you. Every day, even if it is just for a single hour, dedicate that time to nursing your desires forward. I can almost guarantee you that things will begin to feel progressive, and the feelings of relief and accomplishment feel a lot better than the dreadful mountain that may be looming on the near horizon.

Motivation is born of many different factors and has it’s ebbs and flows, so take some time and write out what it is you want to do and WHY you want to do it. If your drive and desire is strong enough, use that as your fuel. If you are passionate about changing your financial situation, use those memories of the hard times  and never stop until you have accomplished something each and every day.  The gratification may not be instant, but motivating yourself for success is a long end game indeed. African American women have sacrificed so much and strive for excellence in a world that is not always thankful, if even cognizant. I cannot stress enough how every day you must tend to the garden of your mind, and make yourself the priority.

Rome will be built day by day, brick by brick.